When you are no longer in love with your spouse how do you continue in the marriage
Can a marriage survive without love
Is love the main ingredient in a marriage? Can a marriage continue when the love is gone but you still have children, friendship, companionship, commitment and responsibility?
The end result is more like a partnership rather than a marriage, except for the fact that one person in the marriage is still in love and the other isn’t.
The fact remains, do you have to be in love with your spouse to make the marriage work? Some would say yes and would leave the marriage if there was no love, others may say no and stay in the marriage hoping that the love might return one day or stick it out for the mentioned reasons above. There are however three distinct difference in a marriage concerning love and that is “in love”, “love”, and “partnership”.
In Love
“In love” with your spouse is when a person shows affection towards their spouse by, kissing, hugging, making love, being close to them and wanting to spend time with them.
These are all the signs that a spouse is still “in love” with their partner. This may remain a constant in some marriages and other times it may come and go throughout the marriage.
Loving
“Loving” a spouse but not being “in love” may appear to be the same thing but it is not. This is a spouse who cares deeply for the other spouse but is not “in love” with them. They may be committed to the relationship through, friendship, children, mutual respect and want to stay in the marriage because of those reasons.
There are many marriages that end up in this category and they stand the test of time and maybe the love will come back again and the feelings of love will slowly grow over the years. This is possible in a marriage, if there still is that respect of deep love towards the spouse. This may even be a couple that has gone through hard times together and can appreciate how their spouse has stood by them, or they have been married for many years and are content just being with one another.
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Partnership
Then there is marriage where there is no “in love”,” love”, just a partnership, or maybe a friendship. This is when the situation gets more difficult for each spouse to stay in the marriage. This happens when one of the spouses has given up on the marriage, but has not physically left the marriage.
Many times the spouse that is still “in love” will begin to seek out a relationship outside of the marriage to fill the loss or the void, or the other spouse may do the same. The problem is that when the marriage enters in to this phase it is not a time to look for outside companionship but a time to be blunt and honest with your spouse. Living in a marriage where one person is “in love” with the other can be very painful and hurtful to that person and they deserve to know how their spouse feels so that they can make a decision to stay in the marriage or not.
The spouse that is not longer “in love” also deserves to be happy but needs to be honest and up front and allow the other souse the option of staying in the marriage or the possibility of getting out and one day finding someone who can give them that love they deserve.
Up’s and Down’s in a Marriage
All marriages will go thorough ups and downs and sometimes the love will be strong and grow and others times, the marriage will be hard and difficult and the marriage will end. A marriage can withstand ups and downs as long as there is basic love, respect, commitment, friendship and willingness to get through the rough times.
In marriage it is not an always possible to be “in love”, but know that the feelings can come and go, but what remains is a deeper love. When the deeper love is gone, along with the respect, and the friendship than the marriage is much harder to repair and the couple may think at that point about divorcing and moving on.
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