“Middle child syndrome” describes the feelings of neglect and isolation thought to afflict many middle-born children. But recent research shows that this “syndrome” a total myth; in fact, middle children develop personality traits that help them succeed in jobs and relationships even quicker than older and younger siblings.
The moment of your birth does not automatically influence your personality traits. However, children in the community share many common traits, including being excellent mediators.
Middle Children in the community have strong relationships and friendships
The middle children tend to prioritize interpersonal relationships outside the family, according to Dr. Lisa Lewis. “Cadets, probably in response to this feeling of being neglected, tend to favor very strong friendships and long-term relationships.”
They rely more on their relationships with peers than on family members. These outsiders respond to their need for emotional support, according to Nedra Glover Tawwab, former social officer owner of the Kaleidoscope Counseling Office in North Carolina.
Middle Children are excellent mediators
Most of the children in the community are peacekeepers. As they occupy the middle place between brothers and/or sisters, they are often obsessed with what is right and balanced.
Family therapist Gina Marie Guarino says they tend to handle conflict between brothers and/or sisters. “The child in the middle has a special relationship with the eldest and youngest, which helps them mediate between the two, thus balancing the relationship between the youngest and the youngest.” Follow these tips to manage conflicts between brothers and sisters.
They are excellent negotiators
When the middle child is not acting as an arbitrator, he negotiates for his own well-being.
Because of their great listening skills and patience, they know how to get their parents’ attention to negotiate their needs.
They are easygoing
To be a good mediator is to be able to make excellent compromises. They are therefore more likely to follow the flow than to be stubborn or contentious, according to Gina Marie Guarino. In addition, some parents are much more relaxed when a second child is added to the family.
They are innovative
According to Katrin Schumann, co-author of The Secret Power of Middle Children, children in the community value change more than others. This would be due to their openness and willingness to try new things.
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According to one study, they are 85% more open to new ideas, while only 50% of first-borns are.
They are more independent
Because they tend to create healthier relationships outside the home, they develop a lesser fusion with their parents. “They do not overcompensate by taking on family responsibilities like the older ones, or do not depend on others like the younger ones,” says psychologist Katie Davis.
Although siblings seem to be competing for parental attention and achieving a blended state with them, cadets tend to become healthier adults, better adjusted to life. “They benefit from the emotional distance needed to differentiate themselves as individuals.”
They are determined
The independence that feeds them makes them determined, according to Katrin Schumann. The author indicates that cadets are used to working hard to achieve their goal and to be appreciated by their parents. These peacekeepers, therefore, tend to fight for what they want.
They are accomplished
About 52% of American presidents since 1787 are children of the middle. And these accomplished individuals are not limited to the presidency. Several successful entrepreneurs, including Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, are local children. According to one study, these people’s traits, including strong independence and negotiation skills, help them to take more risks and work hard to achieve their goal.
They work hard
Located between the eldest and the youngest, the kids in the middle have the best of both worlds. They have an example to follow on one side, and they must serve as models for the other.
In addition, maintaining an excellent relationship between the eldest and youngest will be beneficial once in the job market. According to a study published in The Journal of Genetic Psychology, they perform better in group activities and do better socially than others, developing an excellent team spirit.
They do not crash under pressure
According to one study, first-born babies are more likely to suffer from depression than others. They are generally at greater risk of being depressed due to the pressure of having to live up to parental expectations. Learn more about the causes and symptoms of depression. Cadets do not suffer from this when they go through the different trials of adult life. Another study, Spanish, shows that they are less likely to suffer from emotional problems or attention deficit.
They make excellent parents
Once adults, the children in the middle would become excellent parents. One study shows that they tend to create a structured and regulated environment at home while giving their children a little freedom. By comparison, the newborns leave a little aside structure and rules when they become parents in turn.
They are thoughtful
Children in the community are not known to be spoiled or to be the “favorite” of parents. They are good children. According to a study by Texas Christian University and the University of Texas, it would be the best-fitting children in the family.
Remember: birth order has little impact on personality
Although common traits bind children in the community, several other factors play a role in personality development. According to Columbia University psychotherapist Arlene B. Englander, this includes the sex of other children, the family economic situation, and divorce.
For example, if the cadet is the only male child in the group, he or she could be given special treatment even if he/she were born after his / her big sister. “In summary, the birth order can provide us with information for certain situations, but we need to look at everything in hindsight and avoid stereotypes when we try to understand how a person develops to become what they are. Is today, “she says.
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